Art of ‘Silence’

‘Silence’. I never thought in my life earlier ever that i would be paying so much attention to this word. Though as i progress with life, i have come to learn that ‘Silence’ is a form of meditation.

As a child, adolescent, teenager, adult – I have been a very verbose personality. Always having so much to talk about, and i would admit that for some reason i felt that it defines me and who i am. Being the youngest of all siblings at home, i was a pampered kid always, though everything has its loopholes. So, while the pampering and having things my way almost always made me vocal and very expressive about my feelings it also left a deep impact on my heart. My family has been so habitual of seeing me talking a lot, frolicking around and always being chirpy that I started feeling responsible to be like that for their happiness. There was this time when their concern for me being upset started being inversely proportional to how much i was talking. That worried me as i was slowly finding myself incapable of being jovial all the time. Well, thankfully that changed. As my siblings moved away to different regions and geographies, my parents – obviously being the most mature of all understood that i needed my space as well for things weren’t same anymore. My being verbose and very expressive started playing against me with time as my time and attachment was not being returned especially by the people most closest to me – pushing me to think that perhaps i do not need to act chirpy to make others happy if they talk once in a fortnight or a month or 2, as i might not necessarily be feeling like it at that particular time. This, is where the chapter of understanding Silence began.

My mom has been not only a friend and a friend and a friend, she has been so far, as a matter of fact the only one who understands me without me having to say anything. She understands the heart and that has set a very high benchmark for me for deciding who really does understands me. Though she lives with dad miles away from where i live with my husband, she literally walked me through this process of learning to stay silent. In a very very different way than i thought silence is practiced. For me, being silent used to mean ‘giving up’ and here i was learning to stay silent until i feel like speaking. It gave me so much power and control. It was not anything like giving up, it was everything like ‘not giving in’ without speaking a word. For your actions do really speak more than you can ever know. And your actions, over the years start talking for you in ways that we don’t see immediately .

Silence enriched me, made me feel like so much more in control of the situation, it taught me to start responding and not reacting, silence taught me to value my words before i speak, silence taught me the virtue of patience, silence made me happy. I can not today tell, how much i have changed in the last 2 years but i can feel it. I can feel how it has made me a more confident human being. It has shown me that people really respect those who can control their reaction and wait to respond, exactly when you will be most tempted to say something. Both professionally and personally, silence has helped me evolve. When my husband used to share his ways of thinking and opinions, it amused me a lot. I could not understand why i can not speak so practically and logically in a sentence and keep on expressing myself in such depths that it will dilute the message. I looked up to him and tried very hard to learn that beautiful thing. i failed, miserably. Every single time that i tried. I ended up in situations that were not meant to be but i still did because i was trying to be someone else. As and when i got introduced to the art of being silent, i realized that i was trying too hard. That i shouldn’t have tried at all. All i needed was to introspect and improvise myself. All i needed was to just pay a little more attention before i spoke. To give myself time to ‘think‘. Avoid speaking any vowel also if it is not required. To tailor what i have to say in a fashion that will help another person understand me. It is like, you mash the carrots for a person who doesn’t have any teeths as otherwise he won’t be able to eat it. Even a rubber band, if stretched beyond it’s limits will break then why won’t the purpose of anything get wasted if we stretch the subject too much. With that note, I will close this article. Please never forget, that all of us are unique, what works for me, what makes me happy – may be entirely different to what works for you and makes you happy. Be your own Buddha.


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